I generally speaking you should not proclaim my personal sexuality straight away upon meeting new people, but I’m sure it’ll most likely arise eventually whenever we become friends. I usually only claim that i’ve a girlfriend and then leave it at that, but leading many people to
think i am a lesbian
, which bothers the hell of myself because we never mentioned I was and that I’d never pick that tag for me.

1. 
   I have got passionate feelings for people who aren’t women.
   
   While I currently only come across females appealing and just want to time ladies, I
   found guys appealing in the past
   . Was I intimately interested in them? Not on most days, but enchanting and sexual emotions you shouldn’t always go hand-in-hand. Throughout my youth, I’ve broken on different children, but after dating some guys and doing a bit of soul-searching, I’ve found
   I prefer women
   . That nonetheless doesn’t eliminate my last, and sex is fluid. Possibly I am not keen on males now, but i would subordinate conditions or i may maybe not. I simply don’t want to get fastened straight down from the specifics of a “lesbian” label.
2. 
   Not totally all women that have actually relationships/sex along with other ladies are lesbians.
   
   While I do not like being called a lesbian, I
   
   am
   
   very entirely into ladies. But some women aren’t.
   Some women are bisexual
   —surprise!—or pansexual or maybe just don’t care about sex after all. Utilizing the phase “lesbian” to spell it out any girl who’s at this time with another woman is generally inaccurate. Whenever a term is commonly incorrect most of the time, I don’t choose to make use of it.
3. 
   I am not from the Island of Lesbos
   
   . If you don’t know, you will find an actual set in Greece known as Island of Lesbos and people in fact stay there. “Lesbian” refers to folks or things from that area. The phrase “lesbian” as a way to reference homosexual females just came into being caused by Sappho, which famously published really love poetry about women. (Side notice: she also typed poetry about adoring males too, yet she is the best logo to be a “lesbian.” Bisexual erasure a lot?) Anyway, people from the Island of Lesbos really don’t like folks
   contacting homosexual women “lesbians
   .” Absolutely a little homophobia on their campaigning from the term, however you still need to admit it’s very stupid to refer to all homosexual ladies as “from this option Greek isle.” There are also a lot more homosexual females than individuals who reside in Lesbos, so this is specially vexing for me.
4. 
   Gay and queer are fun words.
   
   I do love stating the term “queer” plus explaining me as “gay AF.” Queer is an example of reclaiming a term from homophobes, that’s constantly amazing. It virtually suggests something which’s just somewhat uncommon, that will be ideal for myself, and gay merely indicates delighted. Precisely why wouldn’t I would like to be gay? We have to all be very happy. If I have to select a label, I’m going to declare that
   I am homosexual
   . Esteem the happy.
5. 
   I do not fit the lesbian stereotype.
   
   I consider myself personally a part of the LGBTQ+ community, and also the neat thing regarding the neighborhood is that everyone out of each and every walk of existence need welcome so long as they’re acknowledging. Nevertheless when I think of being a “lesbian,” i’m like there is this mythical community of them that Really don’t quite go with. Lots of this might be fairly old school, but even now there is a large number of expected “must haves” for lesbians, as if you need to be aggressive, use bamboo, and tune in to Tegan and Sara. I actually do nothing of these circumstances. Since “lesbian” as a term looks fairly stereotyping in range, I believe like basically use it, I have to
   comply with stereotypes
   … and I also do not.
6. 
   I’m not femme or butch.
   
   And not complying to lesbian stereotypes, In addition never feel just like we fall under a category. Many people which determine as lesbians consider themselves as “butch” or “femme.” Physically, I believe this beats the purpose. I am not gay and so I can emulate a heterosexual pair but to every their. Regardless, I am not truly excessively male or overly elegant. I enjoy wear clothes, but I
   seldom put on beauty products
   or jewelry. My personal locks are very long but sometimes i enjoy use men’s room garments. We defy these classes, which feels like defying becoming a lesbian overall.
7. 
   My sexuality doesn’t determine myself.
   
   My major meat using the phrase “lesbian” is when you determine as you, you must state “I’m
   
   a
   
   lesbian.” Should you state you are gay, you can just say “i am homosexual.” Linguistics are very important in my experience because language reflects social principles. When people utilize the phrase “gay,” its a descriptor. When individuals make use of the phase “lesbian,” it really is an identifier. Getting gay falls under my identity, but it is rarely all i will be. It is simply one aspect, so do not boil me down seriously to only “a lesbian.”
8. 
   I don’t should omit non-binary or asexual folks.
   
   Getting a lesbian appears to have a rigorous description: a woman that’s intimately interested in some other ladies. But what if you are a lady with a person that’s non-binary? They’re not a lady, even though they are not a man, so that the phase “lesbian” feels incorrect. And
   if you’re asexual, you will still have romantic thoughts
   , and possibly you have passionate thoughts for the next girl. Can a “lesbian” not sexually interested in women? No matter in my opinion if someone else’s ace, non-binary, trans, or whatever they determine because, but by using the phase “lesbian” to spell it out myself personally is like I then have to exclude individuals who don’t possess a “traditional” sex or sex.
9. 
   I am not porn.
   
   Lesbian is really a typical search phrase in porno.
   You never notice men and women speaking about “gay porno” that relates to ladies having sex. It is because “gay pornography” aims at gay males featuring men sex with each other. But “lesbian porn,” which features women making love together, is aimed at straight males. Because I’m sure this, personally i think fetishized each time I’m called a lesbian, even when which is not the intention. I simply cannot divorce the fetishization of queer females from phase. What’s more, it reminds me personally of all of the kinds of bad situations in society and just how usually gay men and women are fetishized, so don’t know me as a lesbian.